I did something today I’ve never done before — I worked out with a… whatchamacallem? oh yeah, an MP3 player.

Here’s the playlist:

…And notice anything about the times? I’ve got a longer song and then a shorter song and so on. I alternated between slow for the long songs and fast for the short songs. And it was totally excellent having the cranked-up sound in my head! Oh and what is fast and what is slow, you ask? Fast is 7.5 mph (8 min/mi pace) and slow started at 6 mph (10 min) for the first song and then upped to 6.5 mph (9:13 pace) for the duration.

Best part was I made the list just this morning and I couldn’t remember what was on it, so I was surprised the whole time. And when I got done — 50:00 was my target and that was 5.5 miles, which is longer than I usually run — Peaches was playing, which I love. And then that last Dropkick Murphys song came on and was a really great cool-down tune!

Most days I watch some recorded TV show to catch up on news and whatnot… but when I’m running in the gym at work, which I do on Wednesdays when I don’t lift, this is it. Different lists, of course, and maybe you all can suggest some tunes? I’m thinking I need some Clash, I don’t even know what, I can’t think right now.

1. How many things can I test at once? Will the new pinger work?
2. The other thing I’m testing isn’t here — it’s over at the Mister Linky Blog — yes, please do!
3. I’m soooo hungry right now. I need a snack!
4. But I’m stuck at the car fix-it place with nothing to eat!
5. I might have wander over to the DD next door — horrors!
6. I came in for an oil change and to check my alignment.
7. They showed me my brake pads, which were worn bad.
8. It’s going to be an expensive day.
9. I guess I’ll have to stay up all night making new t-shirts!
10. Or bake some cookies or point to my tip jar.
11. They sprouted wi-fi since I was here last.
12. Boy is there some awful crap on TV right now!
13. I’m trying not to watch since I’m supposed to be working. ::ahem::

Maybe I am paranoid, but I do know when they’re talking about me.

I walked into the kitchen today (at work) and my boss was in there talking to this woman all whisper whisper.

No, I don’t think they were talking about me. But it reminded me about yesterday, which I meant to post, and then, well, ya know…

I was done working out and I needed to buy some lettuce and tomato from the salad bar, because I was feeding my daughter a chicken patty sandwich and (I thought) she was going to want that on it. Of course she proceeded to remove every last little grape tomato I had lovingly cut in half and placed on her sandwich. Hey, more for me!

But anyway, as I’d walked in I saw that my RLF’s (so-called) were all sitting at their favorite lunch-time-wasting table on the other side of the cafeteria. I ignored them, as I always do, and went to getting my lettuce and tomato. I needed to get upstairs and make my lunch, cause I was hungry. Well as I’m gathering my tomatoes, I hear laugh laugh laugh. Now I’m getting some lettuce. Now it’s louder, laugh laugh laugh laugh. Hey, some onion, I love onion on my chicken patty sandwich! Even louder, laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh. You *cannot* tell me they weren’t doing that to get my attention, you just can’t.

Turd heads, all of ‘em.

I’ve written a little script to help you figure out if your WordPress site has been hacked.

0. almost forgot — don’t do this until AFTER you’ve upgraded to 2.5.1.
1. download this file
2. rename it from “checker.txt” to “checker.php”
3. using Notepad or TextEdit, change the username string (optional) and password string (required)
4. upload edited checker.php to the public_html folder of your host
5. run it — http…your-server…checker.php (enter the username/password you chose)
6. look at what gets printed out…

** if(md5 **
if anything gets printed here, that’s trouble
** _wp_debugger **
if anything gets printed here, that’s trouble
** wp-info.txt, _new, _old, .pngg, .jpgg, .giff **
if anything gets printed here, that’s trouble
** checking for suspicious Wordpress user **
no suspicious Wordpress user
(if it prints something else, that’s trouble
** dumping active_plugins option records **
it’s hard to describe what constitutes trouble
in this section — if you see lots of dots and slashes,
that’s certainly suspicious.  send it to me and I’ll
let you know.

And of course, don’t hesitate to ask for help!

If you have a WordPress blog, please read this carefully. Otherwise, just thank your lucky stars and stop laughing at us.

1. UPGRADE to version 2.5.1 — be sure you DELETE what you’re supposed to delete and not just copy over existing folders.

2. Go to your DASHBOARD — clicking the Site Admin link (/wp-admin) should get you there. About three inches from the top, you should see “This is WordPress version 2.5.1.”

3. If you see the WRONG VERSION (like 2.5, with a message telling you to upgrade, which you’ve already done) YOUR BLOG HAS BEEN HACKED and needs to be repaired.

4. You can read more about this here, and I’ll be happy to help you with any repairs you need to make. I actually maintain four blogs (go ahead, try and name them) and figuring out how to fix three of them consumed several hours of my day today.

Without going into terribly gory technical detail, if you’ve been hacked, there is code sitting there waiting to do god-knows-what. The sooner you get it out of there, the better.

My daughter (youngest) is scheduled to have a softball practice tonight. This involves feeding her dinner beforehand, since we live a half hour away. And you know what a cheap bastard I am, and not inclined to spend a dime on anything I don’t need to. Sorry, honey, it’s ketchup packets for dinner again. You think I’m kidding? Ha!

It’s when you’re most prepared for anything that nothing is most likely to happen. I think Confucius said that on one of his better days. So of course I’ve got my umbrella at the ready. Damn, that will prevent rain! No no, I think I’d rather there NOT be a practice tonight, so I DO need rain! And sure enough, it’s not raining!!

OK, what else can I do? Well if dinner is all set to go, surely the gods will smile on me, right? We had some bulky rolls in the fridge, so I popped those in my tote bag along with my daily ration of fruits. Then I stopped at the grocery store on my way to work and picked up some chicken patties, carrots, potato chips — all those things that help junior forget all about golden arches and the like. I may even have some chocolatey cookies here somewhere in the office — bonus!

Nope, still not raining. I’ll end up sitting there in the damp, catching numma… pneuma… a really bad cold!

I paid a visit to the cafeteria after my workout. They make a decent paneer keema that’s priced reasonably enough, when you factor in all of the mayo, mustard and yes — ketchup packets, that I’ll be filling my pockets with on my way out.

The ketchup — yes, the ketchup, the magical ketchup — it’s a miracle! As soon as I had that ketchup in my hand, I heard this god-awful sound from outside. I looked out the window and saw the rain pounding the ground and the windows. It was even louder when I got to the top floor — the rain on the roof can be quite an experience! And when I got to my office, stashed all of my packets, and began eating my tasty lunch, the e-mail arrived: no practice today!

I looked down at that ketchup packet and I could almost hear it speak: “you’re welcome,” it said.

Thank you, ketchup!!!

When it rains, it pours. And thank goodness it’s raining! We’ve had such a beautiful spring, it’s been easy to get used to the warm, clear weather. But with gardens being prepared and early crops planted — plus the fact that we like water for drinking and bathing and whatnot — we really needed this rain!

But that’s not why I’m here. And dammit, I just upgraded to WP 2.5 and now they’re saying we need to upgrade to 2.5.1? Aaaarrrggghhh fuckity fuck!! (sorry) I really need to go into business upgrading WordPress. I guess I’ll start with my three? four? Oh this really sucks.

But no, that wasn’t it, either.

I’m pretty sure I figured out who that woman was that I saw the other day — you know, the hot one. I kind of recognized her, but I dunno — don’t all beautiful women look alike? KIDDING, I’M JUST KIDDING!!

I used to have coffee at this Starbucks nearby. It’s been a while, back before I came to my senses and realized how much money I was spending on coffee. Anyway, this woman used to come in all the time and meet with all kinds of people. It turns out she was starting a business in town and was getting everything arranged and stuff, working out of this coffee shop! I’m almost 99% sure this is that same woman. And if it is, I think I know her name.

But now I’m also starting to think I’ve seen her somewhere else. Could she be one of the moms at my daughter’s school? If so, she certainly knows my ex-wife. Was she sent here to tempt me and catch me in some kind of sting operation?

Yes, I’m paranoid. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that you can’t trust anybody, ever. Because they are all out to get me. I can hear them talking about me now. I have to go and run and hide. BRB.

It’s still poetry month, so there.

new red windbreaker
perfect for a chilly day
stole it from wifey

little girls in green
warming up before soccer
too many to count

stood in a long line
got myself some hot coffee
now I have to pee

off in the distance
I spy a porta-potty
I’d rather hold it

later there’s softball
saturday is filled with sport
packed a healthy lunch

my son’s baseball team
playing two games tomorrow
an hour away

I’m really hoping
“hour” has two syllables
that’s how I say it

my hands are chilly
hard to press the little keys
wearing these mittens

this is the last one
almost time to watch the game
have a lovely day!

I’ve known this was coming for a while — a size change. I’ve been “XL” for a long time, which means they were in the back of my closet and I was having to buy XXL, and now all of that’s gone and I’ve been wearing the XL things again, which has been kind of nice.

That was before, though. There’s this guy at work — nicest guy, from another land, but don’t they have tact in China? “I see you have lost weight because your shirt is too big.” Believe me, buddy, if I could afford to change my whole wardrobe, don’t you think I would? No, I don’t say things like that. And the same day, this other guy, more of a friend, said “nice shirt” to me — I guess because he was wearing a white shirt, too.

I dunno, I guess it got to me. So I have to go and buy shirts now. Well that day I stopped T J Maxx and got a couple of shirts. Size L. Large. As in not extra or extra extra. No X’s in the size. It’s just very weird.

I had these shirts kind of tucked away in the basement because they didn’t fit me anymore (too small). A whole bunch of them. I was thrilled to realize one day a few months ago that I could wear them again — so happy. These are the “too big” shirts and now they have to go. I guess I should be happy about this, but I really can’t afford to be, you know?

At lunch time today, after my workout — legs, and mine are much better than yesterday, thank you! And I went to the L.L. Bean outlet store — I love that store, now if only they had a parka with a hood for next year. Anyway, I found a couple of long sleeve shirts L-Tall, which is really what I need, so they don’t come untucked. I hate being untucked. And best of all, at outlet prices, yay!

And here’s the weirder part. I’m walking into the building and there’s this woman by the other elevator, not the one I use (long story). She gave me this look like — honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen this look, OK? Oh, and by the way, she’s hot. I have no idea who she is or anything. Not that I need that kind of trouble, I just don’t don’t don’t.

Oh, I know what you all need — a fashion show!! One of these days I’ll model my new things and put ‘em up in a private post. Not today, though — busy busy!

I’ve got two kinds of pain.

One is my quads, which are screaming at me for running 13.6 miles and not going anywhere. What’s up with that? They’d like to know!

And then there’s the injury I suffered — AFTER completing my half-marathon, mind you! I looked at the clock and realized I needed to get in the shower if I was going to have time for some lunch before jumping in the car and getting to my doctor’s appointment. But wait, all of this clothing strewn about… and these empty water softener salt bags, I need to carry those upstairs… And so I had my arms full and dropping stuff here and there and I get to the stairs going upstairs and ::BOING:: Pretend there’s a funny noise, which we’ll pretend is the sound my foot made as it slipped off that first step and slammed to the floor. Ouchies!

Figures, I had to hurt myself, but at least it wasn’t DURING my special event! Yes, there was that twinge of OWW from my right knee — I forget now when that was. Oh wait, it must have been right about the one-hour mark, because that’s when I cranked down my speed a notch.

I had started out at 6.5 mph, about a 9:13 pace, which I figured would get me to my destination — half a marathon, i.e. 13.19 miles — within two hours or so. The course record was in the neighborhood of 2:07, so that was safe. And then at the hour mark I brought it down a bit — to 6 mph, a 10:00 pace — and at that rate, well I was looking at the distance I’d covered and figured I’d be OK if they were a few minutes off the record pace.

But damn, they weren’t! I was doing OK, though. And then when the women turned on to Hereford Street — that’s about a mile from the finish — I kicked it up some, back to 6.5. And then when Alevtina Biktimirova put the moves on Dire Tune (who would ultimately win the women’s division), that’s when I cranked it all the way to 7.0.

The men weren’t far behind the women finishing — I think that’s by design — and when Robert Cheruiyot finished at 2:07:46, I hadn’t even noticed, really, but I was hoping like hell that I’d already passed the 13.19 mark. And I guess I had!

And yeah, I was pretty psyched! I’ve never run even half that before, so it was quite an accomplishment for me! Yay me! :)

somebody do the math — 53.3 laps at a quarter each… how far is that? did I run a half marathon?

72 min 30 lap 7.7 miles