Why does life have to be so complicated? All I want to do is be healthier. OK, we all know that my motives have not always been as pure as Ivory soap.

I did not have a crumb of pie or cake over Thanksgiving weekend. I am just the picture of will power, you must think. Well it wasn’t easy, let me tell you!

So then why, a couple days later, am I faced with a big box of bon bons? White chocolate, the kind I absolutely love. Wifey gives them to me “for my birthday” — HELLO, did you not notice I didn’t eat any yummy pies? I demanded that there be no birthday cake?

I was just telling Lori yesterday how I’m probably going to give them away in one of the yankee swaps that always take place this time of year. There will be one at work, and now that I think about it, that may be the only one. Anyway, that’s my plan — don’t open ‘em, just dispose of ‘em.

Of course I’ve come to my senses since then and realize that if I go to the holiday party at work, there will be all this food there — yummy party food, the kind I just cannot say no to — and I’ll be sunk.

I’m trying so hard. I’m working out so hard.

And then today, I get home — oh, and my son had an unexpected late practice, so I had to get something to eat. I drive by the Burger King so many times a day and it smells so good — so what do I do? Get a pocket at d’Angelo instead. And then later my son hadn’t eaten so I stopped and got him a shake and fries — torture, I tell you!! And I didn’t even collect a fry tax!

So I get home, and what does Wifey present me with? God bless her, we were in this store the other day where they sell Toblerone and I said that if there was a white one I might buy it. But that was really just talk and I wouldn’t have gotten one. I’m always doing that. Well she gave me this white Toblerone. I don’t know what to do. I know I don’t want to eat it.

What if it were something else? What if she starts suggesting we get Chinese takeout? I don’t think I could resist that, I really don’t.