Tomorrow’s moving day. Wifey wants the barn and the pasture back so Angel will be packing up her horses and moving them to another barn — turns out it will be in another town not too far away.

Anyway, I had an errand to run this morning, about two hours from here, figured I’d be back by noon. It was my big chance. Wifey was going to be away for the morning, too. And since Angel’s been coming over about 10 to take care of things in the barn, I figured I’d get some alone time with her. To talk and stuff, is all.

Well then some shit hit some fan and I had to go back to where I was and take care of… no, the details aren’t important. I didn’t end up getting home until closer to 1:30. And Wifey was home and Angel was just leaving. Aaarrrggghh!!

The only good news is it turns out that Angel will be coming over to exercise Wifey’s horse. So with any luck I’ll get a chance to talk to her on Monday.

I know it all sounds so sneaky, and maybe it is. I just want to talk to her. Not sure what I’m going to say, though.

And then… just after I hit the post button, I hear this crunching sound in the driveway. I look out and there’s Angel’s truck! Heart failure. And wouldn’t you know it, Wifey’s run down the road for a little while. Breathe. Yes, you can do this. Should I or shouldn’t I? I know, I sound so dramatic. I finally went out there. She was grooming one of the horses and I told her I saw her truck and wanted to come and visit and she said she was glad and oh my god she just melts me, just a pig puddle of Uisce in the middle of the barn. And we talked about this and that. The new barn isn’t very far and it’ll be weird, her not being here. Courage, Uisce. And finally it came, at least a little. I told her how sad I was that she was leaving and how remarkable she is and if there’s anything she ever needs… OK, so just a little courage. I wish I could tell her more. But then does that make her life any better, knowing there’s someone unavailable who’s fallen in love with her? Is it selfish, wanting to tell her how I feel? I think it is, in a way. And then there’s this I have to keep remembering. I want to be friends with her forever, so I can’t do anything stupid that would ruin that. So maybe it was just right, what I said to her — how I feel without too much. She finished tacking up the horse and I told her to have a good ride and I felt this oh my god this unbelievable powerful energy between us. I can’t even describe it, but it was like we were touching but we were like six feet apart. But in that moment I had this overwhelming sense that she knew just what I was feeling. Well, I’ve gotta run for now.