The horses were on their way at 10:30 or so this morning and Angel left her truck behind, riding with her friend, whose trailer she borrowed.

So I did something you’ll all think was really dumb. And maybe it was. But I couldn’t resist.

We’ve got this bucket of Valentine-decorative foam pieces left over from a school project. I took a pink heart, about an inch across… And I took a deep breath… and I left the heart on the driver’s seat of Angel’s truck.

I then left for a family gathering at Wifey’s aunt and uncle’s house. I knew I’d be gone when Angel returned for her truck and there was no turning back.

Now everyone knows about yellow ribbons, but maybe not what they meant in the old Tony Orlando song. The man is coming home from prison and if his girl still wants him, she’s to tie a yellow ribbon ’round the old oak tree.

Well it all of a sudden it occurred to me — what if I got home and found a pink heart discarded near the spot where I’d left it. Panic panic. I would have to wait until I got home.

And the pins and needles — that’s what you wait on, isn’t it? I won’t keep you in suspense any longer. I did not find anything pink in my driveway. So I was glad to see (or not see) that.

I’ll try and talk to her tomorrow or Monday. I even know what I’m going to say. We’ll just see if I can get the words out.

Tomorrow’s moving day. Wifey wants the barn and the pasture back so Angel will be packing up her horses and moving them to another barn — turns out it will be in another town not too far away.

Anyway, I had an errand to run this morning, about two hours from here, figured I’d be back by noon. It was my big chance. Wifey was going to be away for the morning, too. And since Angel’s been coming over about 10 to take care of things in the barn, I figured I’d get some alone time with her. To talk and stuff, is all.

Well then some shit hit some fan and I had to go back to where I was and take care of… no, the details aren’t important. I didn’t end up getting home until closer to 1:30. And Wifey was home and Angel was just leaving. Aaarrrggghh!!

The only good news is it turns out that Angel will be coming over to exercise Wifey’s horse. So with any luck I’ll get a chance to talk to her on Monday.

I know it all sounds so sneaky, and maybe it is. I just want to talk to her. Not sure what I’m going to say, though.

And then… just after I hit the post button, I hear this crunching sound in the driveway. I look out and there’s Angel’s truck! Heart failure. And wouldn’t you know it, Wifey’s run down the road for a little while. Breathe. Yes, you can do this. Should I or shouldn’t I? I know, I sound so dramatic. I finally went out there. She was grooming one of the horses and I told her I saw her truck and wanted to come and visit and she said she was glad and oh my god she just melts me, just a pig puddle of Uisce in the middle of the barn. And we talked about this and that. The new barn isn’t very far and it’ll be weird, her not being here. Courage, Uisce. And finally it came, at least a little. I told her how sad I was that she was leaving and how remarkable she is and if there’s anything she ever needs… OK, so just a little courage. I wish I could tell her more. But then does that make her life any better, knowing there’s someone unavailable who’s fallen in love with her? Is it selfish, wanting to tell her how I feel? I think it is, in a way. And then there’s this I have to keep remembering. I want to be friends with her forever, so I can’t do anything stupid that would ruin that. So maybe it was just right, what I said to her — how I feel without too much. She finished tacking up the horse and I told her to have a good ride and I felt this oh my god this unbelievable powerful energy between us. I can’t even describe it, but it was like we were touching but we were like six feet apart. But in that moment I had this overwhelming sense that she knew just what I was feeling. Well, I’ve gotta run for now.

1. Seems like the Thirteen is the only chance I get during the week to really put anything in here, and so it goes again.

2. One of my RLF’s really piss me off sometimes. It’s not his fault, I guess. Wants to show me something in Google. And if I go to Google it’s going to say “whiskey.talking (at) gmail (dot) com” right at the top. And we can’t have that.

3. So now I’ve logged out of my gmail, because this wasn’t the first time… at least there’s the gmail notifier.

4. Same RLF tells me I should buy coffee for all of the people waiting in line for iPhones. I told him no, but then… well see below.

5. It got up to 100 degrees yesterday. I don’t really like A/C, but I do appreciate the fact that I do have that to keep me cool.

6. Problem (mostly) solved. I’ve got another browser that nobody cares about and that’s where I’ll read my gmail.

7. I’m only a wee bit jealous about everybody getting their iPhones tomorrow. But since I don’t want one, it really is only a wee bit.

8. Once they support 3rd party apps (freecell, crosswords, Word, Excel) and can be used as a modem for my laptop, then I’ll be all over it.

9. They’ve got a heck of a phone, but a wicked crappy PDA. And they’ll sell all three million of them.

10. So I’d been hoping to get down to the local Cingular/AT&T store yesterday and put this up for Wordless Wednesday:

11. You’ll notice (1) on the right hand side is the poster announcing that iPhones are coming tomorrow and (2) on the left — that’s the door and… nobody is in line!!!

12. So if I wanted to, I could really be number one? Wow, I’m still not getting one!!

13. And yes, I did buy a coffee for everybody in line. Cost me all of… carry the one… NOTHING! :)

It was bound to come up. When it did, I didn’t bother to write about it here, but now it’s come up twice.

The first time was about three weeks ago.

“So…”

Everything always begins with “so…”

She’d mentioned how much weight it looked like I’d lost. I really don’t like talking about it. It’s a personal failing of mine and I’m doing something about it. But out.

“So what made you decide to…”

I didn’t have to think long for an answer. I mean, in truth, I was about to attend a memorial service and not that I wanted to look good or anything — the point is that I was going to be wearing a suit and it was either going to be the one I already own or one that I would have to buy.

“I need to fit into my suit,” I told her.

Which is a lot better answer than this one: “Well someday [please, God] when Angel sees me naked, I want it to look better than this.” No, the truth just wouldn’t do.

“Oh,” she said. “I thought maybe you had a new girlfriend or something.”

“Right,” I replied. “I suppose that would be my grandmother.”

And that was that, for a while.

Now the rest of the story gets into the murky depths of my superstitious soul. You see, my son has this baseball tournament next week and if they win they’ll play a couple weeks later. So I signed up for this road race. I figured the more conflicts I have with future tournaments, the more likely the baseball gods will get confused and, well, so it goes.

This brings us to the other day. I said something about the race and she asked me, “who are you doing the race with?”

Which is kind of a funny question, except that what it means is she thinks I’m having some kind of fitness affair with someone I’m planning to run this race with.

So the scent is off the quarry, I suppose. It’s just a little funny, I guess.

The truth is that it’s one of these corporate races and our company will have a team and I’ll get a lame t-shirt to add to my lame t-shirt collection.

And of course I hope [please, baseball gods] that I won’t be there to collect it.

1. I’ve become such a blog slacker.
2. Will anyone ever forgive me? Please oh please?
3. Every time I try and do better, I fall behind again.
4. It’s just I’ve got a lot going on.
5. And it’s not even stuff I can talk about.
6. No, I haven’t been arrested, nothing like that.
7. Work stuff, kid stuff — neither of which I say much about here.
8. You all know I bought a camper, right?
9. It’s more for road trips than for camping.
10. I wouldn’t mind getting away for a few days.
11. Yikes, but then I wouldn’t be able to work out!
12. Free weights wouldn’t do much for my gas mileage.
13. And I’d have to run on the (gasp) actual road! :)

These are the dark thoughts I have of late…

The boss sends an e-mail around — there’s a sympathy card to sign because so-and-so had a death in the family.

These cards, I swear there is at least one a week. And they’re mostly people having babies. Don’t get me started on the whole anchor baby thing. Oh boy does that boil my britches.

Anyway, usually I write “congrats” or “best wishes” — it’s usually that kind of card.

So what if I accidentally did that on this card.

I had to be very careful because… what if I… oh no, I’m thinking about it too much. Don’t write “congrats.” Don’t write “congrats.”

OK, what did I write. “Very sorry for your loss.” Re-read it. OK. Re-read it again.

Now what kind of cake do you think they’ll get. What? No death cake? RIP OFF!!!

help, I’m being held hostage!

I must be quiet. my captors are not far.

I can hear them. the tell-tale sound of dishes rattling gave them away.

I expext they will burst into this chamber where I’m being held. then they will find me and who knows what they will do to me.

what is it they are planning? I am prepared for anything — burned toast, soggy cheerioes, neckties.

shh, I just heard a door open. I’d best hide somewh

1. I can so sympathize with the one-armed paper hanger.
2. I still have NO idea what that means!
3. I’ve lost track of my WW and TT numbers.
4. I have a serious addiction to crossword puzzles.
5. There, I’ve said it. Am I cured now?
6. Let’s see, what else am I addicted to? Any guesses?
7. My pulse right now is about 42.
8. Can anyone tell me, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
9. Crazy baseball season is upon us.
10. But it is, I have to confess, my favorite time of year.
11. Every time I say “gigabyte” I really want to say “giggle bite.”
12. I think I may need some professional help for that one.
13. Wow, only 16 days until everybody but me gets an iPhone!

This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

Swear Jar — link will open window and start video.

I’m stealing this from Veronika, who got it from Chickadee, Renee and Barbara.

 
Also, I’ve grayed out anything I’ve started/not finished or have no interest in reading.

Anything you want to talk me into?

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMavrier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

Nothing against weight loss blogs, but I don’t want this to turn into one.

But for some who loves food as much as I do, who is as generally lazy as I am, I consider the twenty pounds I’ve lost so far to be a pretty major accomplishment.

I’m not following any diet plan in particular, but rather the common sensical notion that if you burn more calories than you consume, you will lose weight.

So a half hour of jogging/running six days a week is part of it. Lifting weights every day is another. And eating much less. I’ve been eating a lot less meat, mostly because for the calories, it doesn’t feel as satisfying. Beans are filling, and fruits and vegetables, so I’m eating more of those.

My reasons are complicated, but they keep me going. And I hope they keep working, because I’ve got a long, long way to go. My first big goal is another twenty-five pounds or so, but beyond that I’d like to lose another thirty pounds after that.

But I’m feeling so great, and I’m just Mister Motivation. Wish me luck! :)