“do you want to go and have sex in the parking lot?”

what can I say. volleyball moms are a hot bunch. nothing like soccer moms.

not that there’s anything wrong with soccer moms.

seriously, though. I have to say that I don’t care much for the game of soccer — as a sport, I mean. I’ve got nothing against the rest of the world. and that’s who is playing soccer. the rest of the world.

hey, I embrace other cultures and ways of life and whatnot. spicy foods, anal sex, whatever you’re into, that’s cool.

“what did you say??”

“I said, do you want to know about an excellent parking spot.”

“oh.”

long pause.

“because I thought you asked if I wanted to go and have sex in the parking lot.”

“my car is parked in the street.”

“who said anything about a car?”

---

did I say scenes? like plural? ok, then. but I may have to make some of them fictional!

---

it’s a very dangerous place, a volleyball tournament. balls flying this way and that. this venue is worse than most. there are no bleachers, so we’re sitting in our fo — sorry, I had to reach out and stop a ball from killing the aforementioned volleyball mom sitting next to me — we’re sitting here in our folding chairs at court level, which is very bad. at one of the tournaments there was balcony seating, so I felt safe taking out my laptop. with bleachers, not so much. at the last tournament I kept snapping video of this woman with her laptop just waiting for it to be destroyed by a flying volleyball and then I was going to send it in to America’s Funniest Home Videos. I guess I’m just assuming it would be laugh-your-pants-off funny.

Hey, how did we get back to removal of pants?

---

ok, that’s enough for now. and it is a bit noisy in here. I may need to go outside for a while.

---

news flash — there is a player on one of the teams that is Paris Hilton’s twin, and I’m not kidding. identical, I swear, and no naked jokes!!

---

p.s. an angry-looking woman came up to me after one of the games.

“did you see what your daughter’s team just did?”

“my what? oh. no, my girlfriend is on this team.”

“these are sixteen-year-old girls!”

“she was sixteen by the cut-off date. she’s seventeen now.”

“you’re disgusting.”

my daughter’s friend, Amy, happened to walk up just then. I pulled her close and gave her a big kiss. her tongue was cool and tasted like the lime gatorade she’d been drinking. mmm, I love that. :)