When we bought our house, it was about twenty years old. It had forty years worth of character, we used to say.

Roof, windows, doors, basement — they say that water is the most destructive force in nature, and this house was proof of that. But that was four years ago, and we’ve done a lot to repair the damage character.

But not every little thing. The kitchen is outfitted with late-70’s vintage Jenn-Air appliances. I remember when I was a kid and my parents redid their kitchen with the stuff — it was quite the thing! Well that was a long time ago, wasn’t it? In this house, they’re still here and they’ve just steadily deteriorated grown in character.

Especially the built-in microwave oven. Loaded with character, it is. When we first arrived we noticed its lights would blink somewhat randomly. How quaint! We’d known the microwave was out of commission, but that was no big deal because we were bringing a counter-top model with us. Perfect — “Cookie” would take care of our quick-heating needs and the built-in would just blink at it and we’d blink right back.

And then one day the strangest thing happened. The power had gone out, as it does here in the country from time to time, and when it came back, the built-in microwave wasn’t blinking. It had more of a 00:00 look to its display. Well that’s strange, we thought. What happens if you press… and suddenly it sprung to life — ready, willing, able to prepare a variety of delicious foods!

So now we had two microwave ovens, except that “Cookie” stopped working one day. Sure we were sad, but we had our flaky built-in. It’s been about two years now. He has his good days and his bad days. Can you guess what kind of day today is?

I threw some leftovers into him and press and press… a couple minutes later I could smell the delicious chicken and rice, just about ready to eat. Thirty seconds left… don’t want to overcook it. I guess I’d better hit Cancel… nothing. Press press press… nothing. Open the door, the oven goes off. Cancel button still does nothing.

It’s not looking good. He’s never acted quite like this since he came back to life. Oh, if only he’d just go back to blinking the way he used to. I hate to say this, but I think I may be out shopping for one of these… or maybe one of these.