It was red. If I remember anything about that car, I remember that. It first caught my eye on a summer day during my eighteenth year.

That was a foolish summer, indeed, and there are plenty of stories I could make up and tell you, but this one is special because it contains so many firsts.

First girlfriend, first beer, first Porsche, first time getting caught… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

I might have lied before. It first caught Wendy’s eye, and I was just a fool in love. What pleasures might await me at the end of a joy ride in a shiny red sports car, I could only imagine, but the gleam in her eyes matched the gleam in the chrome, and I knew I was going to take a chance.

The beer lubricated my young brain just enough to allow such a stupid idea to take root, while providing some insight into the task before me. I’d never popped an ignition before, but I’d seen it on TV. How hard could it be, Mr Schlitz suggested.

She watched as I carefully followed all of the steps as I recalled them from auto theft school. She had a look about her that told me I was doing something right. But the proof of this pudding would be in the…

Vroooom, tha-tha-tha-tha-vroom! And all of a sudden there squeals of delight, a kiss on the cheek, a tug on my arm, and the smell of leather. We were off in a cloud of dust I only imagined to shield our getaway from any onlookers there might have been, but thankfully were not.

City streets weren’t going to be much fun, so I headed straight for the highway, where we could really give the car a workout. And besides, that road led toward the beach.

The miles flew by, and so did we. She held onto my arm, as I was smart enough to keep both hands on the wheel. Her smile was worth all of this, I thought — she was really enjoying the ride.

How we made the hour’s drive to the coast in half that time is still a mystery to me, as is the fact that there were no state troopers anywhere along the way. The planets were all lined up, weren’t they?

I parked our chariot and shut off the engine, then ran around to the passenger door, to escort my lady the rest of the way. I grabbed her hand and we ran through the darkness as if a dozen officers were in pursuit. But there was nobody there, and nothing at all but stars in the sky above us and seagulls on the deserted beach before us.

Our feet splashed in the water as we ran laughing through the sand. After a minute we caught our breath, and then we caught each other.

“That was really cool,” she told me.

I wanted to reply but Wendy’s lips got in the way and the kiss lasted longer than my memory of whatever I’d intended to say. And while I might kiss and tell, the rest you’ll have to imagine for yourself. Once she began taking her clothes off, I had no choice but to get naked myself. Suffice to say that I was properly rewarded for my earlier crime, a lesson I would carry with me all the years that followed.

Our next lesson was that people like to walk the beach at night in spite of the presence of frolicking youths. That woman and her dog certainly got an eyeful, and that was enough embarrassment to last me a lifetime.

NOTE: Any resemblance to another red Porsche post is strictly coincidental.